"Nobody"

I’m ok with being a “nobody”. I don’t mind having a “small life”, living simply. Now by no means when I refer to being a “nobody” or “small life” do I myself consider it to be insignificant- quite the contrary, the terms “nobody” and “small life” refer to “the world’s or society’s view of success”. 

For me even the smallest details of my life hold great significance. These details are like pieces of a puzzle; events, people, places all fitting together for the larger picture, “a greater purpose” if you will.

As a young teen, “making it BIG” was being anywhere but living in the projects (subsidized housing) and making more money than I could spend in one lifetime.  Today, I have quite a different view, at this stage in my life it takes on a whole new meaning for me. Enjoying my simple life (even when filled with the daily chaos of work, school schedules, family activities, etc) is always a balancing act of sorts; family, friends, healthy choices, the ability to work to support my family, getting to know who I am, being comfortable in my own skin, embracing the good & the bad, all along knowing that God allows these things to happen for a greater purpose, HIS purpose. This is easier said than done at times, however, when I tend to get anxious and fall into the “trap” of comparing myself to what the world deems as success, with the barrage of messages from the media and sometimes from those around me, I take time to pray, I make it a priority to make time for God.  For me, it can be as simple as shutting my eyes for a brief moment & taking a few deep breaths, sitting out in the backyard and listening to the leaves rustle in the breeze, or reading verses in the Bible until I’m at peace.  One verse in particular has been “calling out” to me:

Jeremiah 29:11-13

New International Version (NIV)

¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. ¹² Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. ¹³ You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

I’m human, I’m not perfect, I’ll make mistakes along the way; stumbles along the way are inevitable, but knowing I’ll get through it…whatever “It” is, with God’s help gets me through.  I’m not always happy during the struggles, but then again, who is?... when I take that moment or two, and meditate, pray, reflect on the lesson that is to be learned, I’m grateful, stronger and able to pass along any insight gleaned and encourage those who may be going through something similar. 

 Having faith, the process of and the determination to continue to grow in my faith allows me never to let my life get completely out of hand, or bigger than what God is meant for me to handle at any given time.

Again I say, so what if I’m a “nobody” according to the world, I am a “somebody” and valued by God and THAT is what matters.

This Woman's Prayer

Thank you Lord, for loving me so completely, for though I am not worthy.  Thank you for your guidance although I may not always follow. 

You wait lovingly & patiently as only a Father could.

When dark clouds of doubt creep in, You lift me up and push me forward.

Lord, redirect my path when I go astray, light the way in my hour of darkness, as I foolishly follow the ways of the world.

Forgive me for impatiently forging ahead when I'm not ready or traveling on roads I need not be on.

Lord, continue to love me as no one else could; hold me close, fill me with your love, renew my faith, give me strength & courage to walk the path destined for me, develop in me compassion unending.

Teach me to be a better person, a parent who encourages, a parent who is just, a wife, a daughter, a sister that not only leads but listens and follows when necessary.

Thank you for your grace & everlasting love.

Amen.