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Sunday, October 28, 2012

Loving Through the Ugly

I'm a parent, most days my kids bring me great joy, other times not so much. On those "not so much" days I want to pack my bags and come back when they're grown. As a responsible parent,I know I can't do that; its just a crazy fantasy to get me through their moments of bickering.

The latest "battle" stems from them sharing a bedroom. Each one wants the other to take the extra bedroom once their older brother moves out. Each one complains endlessly about the other, some valid points, mostly whining and selfish desires.

My oldest daughter tried to get me to take her side, by saying the youngest is messy and rude. At my wits end, I answered back "sometimes you just have to love through the ugly".  Now I'm a parent who likes to use small everyday events as teachable moments. In that instant, I knew our Heavenly Father was using this moment with my children to teach me as well.

You see, at some point in our lives and relationships, be it parent & child, siblings or husband & wife we have to love through the ugly. This by no means is a free pass to allow people mistreat you on a regular basis. What I'm trying to convey is that people including you and I, will have moments of ugliness. Occasions where we are less than grateful, courteous, understanding or loving. In these instances, wouldn't you want someone to be patient, kind & understanding enough to love us through our "ugly"?

It isn't easy, or even remotely pleasurable; more like waiting out a horrific storm. You don't have to agree with the transgression, but be wise enough to step back, let go of the need to be right, and go about your life. I can't promise that everything will turn out to our liking, but we have to try to see if the good out weighs the bad. Emotions, as wonderful as they are can often distort the truth when that's all we're focused on.

In teaching my girls this lesson, I'm thankful that God has loved me through many of my ugly moments, aren't you?

John 15:12 (NIV) - My command its this: Love each other as I have loved you.


  1. Will have to use this quote for myself and others. Thanks for the insight. Happy day to you Ilene. Lee Colon

    1. Lee, thank you so much. Feel free to use this quote & honored that you follow my blog.

  2. Ilene,

    This a wonderful message and so true. The emotions are the fuel that feed the mind,and allow everything to go so wrong. This is where ugly steps in. We should "count it all joy" in those moments,loving our way through them. Everything is clearly seen by our human eyes,when we give all our concerns to God.

    1. I'm thrilled my post was something you could relate to. I'm learning to "see the bigger picture" as I get older. Like I said it might not always be the way I wanted but I trust in God its what is needed @ the time.